Understanding Me, Myself and I

So I haven’t written a post since Monday and there’s a whole mixture of reasons for that – but first check in’s for the last few days – WalkFit work out ✔️ calorie counting (mostly, have missed 1 evening meal and haven’t done today….) sleep tracking ✔️ chores done ✔️ routine stuck to….. not so much 🫢

So on was well on track for everything until Tuesday evening…. I meant a friend for evening meal and I had every intention of not staying late. I made smart food/drink decisions kept a check on the time and then….. we got into talking about my Cyclothymia (not sure who came off feeling better from that as things my friend said about feeling similar made me think perhaps I haven’t got Cyclothymia and I’m just not good at life and she ended up thinking maybe she had Cyclothymia!! 😳 anyhow it was about 11.15pm when I got home and I got a message from my son – upshot of that was that I was talking to him on the phone until 1.30am!

Was shattered next morning, but started the day as usual- up normal time, WalkFit workout, etc was fine at work, but by the time I was home and it had got to 4.30 I was shattered and fell asleep for about an hour. Whilst in some ways I’m sure that was beneficial it meant it took me longer to get to sleep that night, which had a knock affect next day.

Thursday first 🚩 someone had asked for my help with something and I put thought and care it helping – she then decided she didn’t need it after all and went in a different direction. Initially I was angry and it felt really unfair – but I noticed this reaction and took a breath. This calmed me enough to reflect and change my thoughts and feelings about this situation – I recognised I was responsible for going overboard with the amount of effort I had put in, she had asked for that much detail and I also recognised she didn’t have to use what I’d done. She had every right to go a different way. This reflection was really important because it meant I stayed on track and didn’t get emotionally stressed and spiral.

I felt good yesterday, but today wobbled. I was asked this morning about a job I’d been asked to do and realised I had forgotten and not done it! I felt mortified 😳 I felt like I’d let this person down really badly with my carelessness and I was immediately worried she would see this as lack of caring about her. I also felt she must be cross and frustrated with me (not that she said anything of the sort! In fact she was really good about it) I made a call and found a partial solution to the issue, but I felt awfully guilty and that I was a shit person and an even worse friend! 🫣

I still have some anxiety about it now – trying to retrace the last few days to work out why I had forgotten. What is positive about this is at least I recognised the feelings I was having, recognised it as a 🚩 and therefore have tried to be proactive about not letting it spiral. I am trying to recognise it and let it go. I’m trying not to let the initial feelings make the whole day spiral and take me down.

Here’s to recognising 🚩 and taking steps to to manage them! 💪🏻